Somewhere between Christmas and New Year, in that lovely lull which for me is a time of non routine and invites reading, rest and reflection, I read an article about New Year resolutions.
For many years now I have not made resolutions. It has something to do with not wanting to buy into all that false optimism that surrounds New Year. I like to think it is because one shouldn’t need a day to start afresh, to change something that needs changing, but it’s more to do with knowing that yet again I will disappoint myself with my lack of will power.
This article though, changed that. It invited the reader to pray and think about a word that they might live by for the year. Something in me moved. Maybe it was the suggestion of bringing it to prayer, maybe it was the simplicity. I don’t know. What I do know is that I started to pray about it and by the 1st of January I had my word.
This word does not fill my every waking hour, is not the foundations of my prayer but it is like the still small voice making a difference. Not all the time, but it is noticeable – to me at least.
I notice how often it is there in Scripture, in hymns, on facebook.
I notice the many ways it invites me to practice it.
I notice when it is practised by my friends.
And I notice when I let opportunities for it to enform me pass by unattended.
I notice how much I need it.
I notice; there is no judgement of myself, no condemnation, just a noticing. An awareness. A becoming present to this virtue God wants to gift to me.
God wants to gift this to me so that I can become all that I am meant to be.